Scars of the Past
by Tainted-Bardock
Summary: After a vicious attack that left Bella scarred for life, she embarks on a journey to find who she is again. In her bid to seek who she is, she comes across the person who attacked her and most importantly- why they attacked her.
1. Chapter 1

**As always, I own none of the characters, only the plot.**

**Big thanks to sue273 for her help in all my work.**

**Scars of the Past**

I stood looking at myself in the mirror and I felt the tears building up. I was horrified and disgusted at the sight before me. I used to be beautiful- the belle of the ball as it were. Who would want to look at me now? Who could bear to touch me? No one would want to wake up next to me and be faced with the monstrosity that was my face. I was hideous. I looked at burn victims and found them beautiful. I would see children with large scars from accidents and I would see them as beautiful. But I could no longer find the beauty in myself. Not since the attack.

**Two Months Earlier**

On my way home from a lunch date with my best friend, Alice, I was in a fantastic mood. I had just been given the best news ever. Alice was expecting her first baby! She was over the moon and I was so pleased for her. Then she dropped the bombshell on me- she wanted me to be godmother!

"Godmother?" I squeaked, "have you checked with Emmett?"

"Of course I have, Bella. He thinks you're the perfect choice. There's no one we are most close with and trust, plus Emmett adores you," Alice beamed.

I sat there stunned. My mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. Out of us both, we knew that she would be the first to get pregnant. I wasn't choosy over my men, but I hadn't found anyone I wanted to settle down with. The longest relationship I'd had was eighteen months, nothing worth writing home about. But Alice, she'd been with Emmett since they were sixteen. They'd been together for seven years and they'd only ever had two major arguments in that time.

The first had been because of Emmett's inability to cut down on his drinking. She understood he wanted to spend time with his friends and unwind, and that was fine. But it was when he got home at some stupid hour and singing at the top of voice. If it wasn't for the complaints from the neighbours, it would be comical.

The other fight was due to Emmett's jealousy issues. After a night out with me, we had ended up back at my place. Emmett called her constantly and when she picked up, all he did was accuse her of being with another man. It didn't matter that I was in the background shouting "hi" and giggling drunkenly. It was only after he had turned up at my house and checked the entire place over did he realise that he had been wrong.

I don't think I'd ever really forgiven the intrusion of my privacy, but for the sake of my best friend's relationship, I had let it go.

Practically skipping down the street with my thoughts, I never noticed the dark figure walking behind me. I kept on my merry way until I had felt the sharp knock on my head and then darkness. I had awoke in an alley. It was dark and I was terrified. I tried to move and felt my wrists tied - something was binding them. My feet were free so I tried to stand and fell over, dizzy.

I looked around for something to release my binding and I saw the figure crouched in the corner. He wasn't doing anything, only looking at me. I started to panic and thought, "He's going to rape me". I'd never known terror like it. I blinked wildly at him, hoping that he was just a figment of my imagination, but no such luck.

He stood and moved towards me. As he turned slightly, I saw the moonlight flash on something shiny. I saw the knife he had in his hand and started to tremble violently. This was it. I'd never been the same after this. I prayed that it would be over quickly, but I tried to remember every detail of him so when I went to the police, I wanted to be able to give some details other than the fact it was dark.

He crouched beside me and whispered something in my ear. I couldn't hear him properly but it sounded something like making someone pay for wronging him. I couldn't comprehend what he was saying. It was only as I felt the blade of the knife against my throat, did I realize that this was not about raping me. He was about to kill me!

**I'm not sure where I'm taking this one yet, so bear with me, I promise you will not be disappointed ;-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**As ever, I own only the plot. None of the characters are mine **

**Massive thanks to my beta sue273- you truly are amazing**

**Chapter Two**

I could feel my heart trying to force its way out of my chest as I felt him dragging the blade of the knife across my face. I wracked my brain trying to think if I knew this person, but I couldn't think of anyone I could have come across without seeing the insanity in their eyes- like what I saw in this man's eyes. He kept muttering about how _I_ had wronged him and that _I should have taken more notice_ of him. But I couldn't think of how I supposedly knew him. Whoever he was, it was clear that he wanted to hurt me and he wasn't going to go away until he had.

I could see the hatred burning in his eyes- the look of pure evil that radiated there. This was no joke pulled by my friends, this was not some lunatic out for a laugh. This was real and it was going to happen- and I knew there was nothing that I could do about it. I truly began to fear for my life, even if I somehow managed to hurt or disarm him, there was no escaping. He had me trussed up like an animal to slaughter.

I had never believed in God before then, but I prayed with ferver and heartfelt sobs. I had so much left to do- so much to live for. I wasn't ready to die. He edged closer and closer to me, whispering things that made no sense. As I opened my mouth to beg him, plead with him not to do it, a scream emerged rather than words as I felt the blade pierce my skin to the left of my left eye. It was excrutiating! I could feel the skin parting beneath the demands of the blade, my skin was being slit open like a sausage. The blade drew further and further down my face.

I must have passed out for the next thing I was aware of was people around me - talking and shouting things. I opened my eyes and tried to say something, to let them know that I was alive. But all that emerged was a gargle. I tasted something metallic and realised it was my blood. Maybe some had dribbled from my face to my mouth. I could hear someone shouting about an ambulance, I could hear sirens in the distance. I made one last attempt to say something and gave in to the darkness that invaded my vision.

_Bleep... Bleep... Bleep_

I heard the steady beeping of a machine, it sounded far away, but like it was getting closer. Light pierced my eyelids, I tried to ignore it but like an insistent child nagging, it won. I opened my eyes and waited for my vision to clear. As I looked around at my surroundings I could see I was in a hospital. The bleeping noise was an ECG machine taking my heart beat. There was someone stood at the end of my bed and as everything focused I could see she was a nurse. She jumped slightly when she saw me looking at her, she shouted for the doctor.

I heard them talking in hushed voices, I caught snippets of the conversation- words like "scarred", "not out of the woods" and "amazing she survived". I was confused. What had I survived and why was I in hospital in for first place? Then it all came flooding back to me, my lunch with Alice, the alley, the madman, the knife cutting me face. If was my face was cut then why was it so amazing that I had survived? I had to know! What had that lunatic done to me?

I struggled against all the tubes and wires connected to me, I wanted them all off. I heard the ECG machine's bleeping become erratic, the sounds of my distress. I didn't want to be here, I wanted to be at home, helping Alice prepare for the arrival of her child. Do a baby shower and shop for tiny clothes. The nurse and doctor came running over.

"Bella, my name is Carlisle, I'm your doctor. You need to calm down or you're going to do more damage to yourself," he said.

To myself? Did he think that I had done this to myself? It wasn't like I could put myself in the bonds that the lunatic had me in alone! I had been trussed up like a pig! I tried to talk to the doctor and tell him that I didn't do this, but all that came out was a muffled mumble. I felt around my mouth and noticed there was a tube there, as I felt further down my neck and found bandages on my throat with other tubes. What the hell had happened to me?!

**Please be aware that following chapter may be deemed upsetting or harrowing to others, if you think you could be one of these then please do not read any further. I don't abusive reviews, you have been warned. Leave me love :-)**


	3. Chapter 3

**As said earlier, the following chapter may be deemed upsetting for some, so please be mindful if you intend to read further. **

**As ever, big love to my beta, sue273.**

**I own nothing but the plot.**

**Chapter Three**

I stood looking at myself in the mirror as the thoughts of that awful day came back to me. I had tried to keep them at bay for so long, but it was no longer any good. They haunted me day and night. I got to reprieve. I felt the tears running down my cheeks as I stared at the scars on my throat. They were hideous, as were the scars on my face. I could hide the ones on my throat, but my facial ones were on display all the time. People didn't think that I saw them looking, but I did. I could hear them whispering about me, all speculating about what happened. It was horrible - people should mind their own business.

I could hear the bleeping of the machines as I woke up again. I felt groggy and disorientated. It seemed they had sedated me after I had come around and found all the bandages. No one had told me why there were bandages there, or why all the mirrors within distance of me were covered. I had no idea if the bastard who had attacked me had been caught or if they knew what had happened to me. I didn't know if anyone had been to see me, even while I was unconscious. Did Alice know anything? I hoped not. I didn't want her under any stress now that she was pregnant.

I tried to call out for a doctor, but my voice couldn't get above a weird croak. Eventually a nurse breezed in. I started making jabbing motions to my throat and mouth. She left and brought me a notepad and pen. I roughly scribbled.

**What happened to man who did this to me? Where doctor? Need to see.**

The nurse sighed sadly and nodded her assent to go and find a doctor, pointing to what I had written, but ignored the other two things I had scribbled. She returned a few minutes later with the doctor I had first woken to see. He smiled softly at me, with sadness in his eyes.

"Good morning, Bella. I'm sorry, but I had to sedate you. I was afraid you may hurt yourself."

I mumbled, but the tube in my throat blocked my voice to nothing but a croak.

"Bella, if you promise to remain calm, I will remove the tube from your mouth so you can talk, but don't push it," he warned.

I nodded gently, pleaded with him with my eyes to let me talk. I needed to know if my attacker had been caught, if I was going to be all right. I was afraid to find out what had been done to me, but I needed to know. My doctor asked me to sit slightly forward and exhale when told. The tube slid from my throat, but it had blood on it. I knew that I shouldn't be breathing blood. Looking at my face, my doctor said that I shouldn't worry about the blood. They had it all under control and I wasn't in any immediate danger. I relaxed slightly, but still, I was concerned.

"Bella, I know you have to tell us what happened and the police could do with knowing as well, but in time. Your body has been put through massive trauma, we need to discuss what happens next and your recovery. It's a long road, but we'll be making it with you. Now, before we start, is there someone I can call for you? I saw various people in your address book, but no one that was marked as a parent," Carlisle said.

"No, friend... pregnant. Don't want... her to know," I croaked.

"I understand that, Bella, but it's best that you have someone available to you that knows what is going on at the moment. What is your friend's name?"

"Alice. Let me... explain to her. Call... but just tell to come," I whispered.

Carlisle agreed to call her and stressed that it was imperative that she come, but not to tell her too much. I wanted her to get that it was important that she come, but not be too concerned with the details. When he returned, he began asking me questions surrounding my injuries. It got to the point where it was too painful for me to talk, so we reduced to nods or writing when it called for it.

"Bella, when you were found, there was no one there, no binding on any of your limbs, and yet there were bruises on them. We can only ascertain that you were indeed attacked, but no one has any idea of how or who," Carlisle explained.

**Walking home from lunch with friend. Someone hit me on head. Woke in alley. Tied up. Knife on my face. Hurt. Passed out. Woke up. More pain. Passed out. Hospital.**

I scribbled as fast as I could. I wasn't sure if it made any sense, but hopefully they would get the barest of facts.

"Okay, Bella. I get what happened, but I could do with knowing a little more. Do you know if he used any needles on you? Did he do anything else to you? Was there anything else other than the knife that could have been used to hurt you?

I shook my head. I was unconscious for the most of the attack. I had no idea what had happened beyond feeling the knife enter my face, the searing pain as it split my flesh. Then it clicked. That was why they were hiding the mirrors, they didn't want me to see the damage. Surely it wasn't as bad as they were making it seem?

**Not sure about needle. Pass out for most. What happened to me?**

Carlisle sighed and walked towards the bathroom attached to my room. He reappeared with a small hand mirror. My hands were shaking when I took the mirror from him. I had gingerly raised it to my face when I felt a scream rising in my throat. There was a four inch slash running down the left hand side of my face, still in the healing process. It was angry and dark red with dried blood. I raised my hand to it when the mirror slipped slightly and I saw all the bandages and tubes that were attached to my throat. The bandages were red with blood and the tubes left my body with blood and yellow liquid, which I could only assume was some infected blood perhaps. I feared what was under those bandages.

**What happened to throat? Why bandage? Face also?**

"Bella, when you were found you were bleeding profusely from various wounds on your body. You are, quite frankly, lucky to be alive. There was the slash on your face. It took one-hundred and forty stitches to close it. There was another slash that runs the length of your throat. It appears your attacker attempted to slash your throat so you would be found dead in case you were able to identify him. When we got you to the hospital, you were so low on blood we didn't think that you would survive any operations, but we had to try anyway. We stitched your face, did the best we could on your throat, but we have had to leave the gash partially open due to swelling, infections and extensive tissue damage. We were absolutely amazed that your trachea was not transected in any way," he softly said, then continued, "even though we were operating on your only visible wounds, all the blood that we were pumping into you was going somewhere other than your body. Your blood levels would not rise no matter what we did. In the end, we had to do a full examination to try and determine the cause of your continuous blood loss."

I was nodding through his speech, but my brain was struggling to keep up. What he was saying meant that there was more damage to my body, more scars that bastard had left me with. I then remembered my attacker ripping my tights and panties. I closed my eyes as Carlisle confirmed my fears, and worsened them in such a way that left me cold and emotionless.

"Bella, I'm so sorry to have to tell you this. But your attacker raped you, not only with his body, but, with instruments we have no concept of. There was so much vaginal damage, and, on top of that, your cervix and uterus were destroyed. We had no choice but to do a hysterectomy and remove everything. We couldn't take the risk of trying to repair the damage and not only making it worse, but letting an infection get in. The consequences could be life threatening," he said.

I turned towards the door as I heard a gasp coming from the doorway. Alice was standing there. I could tell by her face that she had heard everything. It seemed I didn't have to explain anything. My doctor had done it all for me. I saw tears flow down her cheeks as she stared at my bandages and pale face.

"Oh, Bella!" she sobbed.

"Nothing to... be done, Alice. So sorry you... had to find out... that way."

"Jelly Belly," she cried her nickname for me, "it doesn't matter how I found out, only that you are going to be all right. You are my concern, Bella. You're practically my sister," she sobbed.

She gingerly leaned over the bed and hugged me, mindful of the bandages swathing my top end. We cried together; she for what had happened to me, myself, for the rage that burned inside me. It was some time before I noticed that Carlisle had left the room. I wasn't bothered, but I did notice Emmett hovering by the doorway. He smiled gently at me, nodded that he understood we needed our time together.

We broke apart and smiled at each other. I knew that as long as I had her by my side then I would be able to come through anything, and with the promise of the arrival of a tiny Alice or Emmett, I could focus on something positive while I regained my health. I only hoped that there was no lasting damage beyond the scarring. Perhaps plastic surgery would be able to do something about that for me. It was unfortunate for a friend of mine that plastic surgery could not be done for her, because her scarring from an attack from a boyfriend was not on a large scale or interrupted with her life she wasn't eligible for it. Even though she knew the scarring was there and it ruined her self-consciousness, they would do nothing for her. In the end, she left town and I never heard from her again.

It was soon the end of the day, but Carlisle allowed Alice and Emmett to stay with me on the promise that they would not bother any of the other patients and keep all noise to a minimum if they wanted to talk to me. Alice laid on the bed beside me and Emmett sat in the chair. I knew it wasn't comfortable for him, but he never complained, merely happy to see that Alice was comforted by being near to me. I figured she needed to be reassured that I was here, so made sure she was near to me physically.

I dozed in a fitful sleep, woken occasionally by the sound of the machinery, or the pain in my throat. Although I was doped to the eyeballs on morphine, the pain in my abdomen was intense, from the hysterectomy, no doubt. My mind could do nothing but wonder back to the fateful day, going through the what ifs. What if I had left earlier or later? What if I had gone with Alice to her house? What if I had gone a different route that day? What if, what if, what if? They ran round my brain endlessly until I covered my ears in an attempt to stop it all.

"Bella? It's okay. Calm down, you're dreaming," Emmett whispered to me.

I looked at his shadow and realised that I had been dreaming after all, but even in my nightmares, my brain still went over everything that I was thinking when I was awake. It never ceased.

Days passed as I slowly began to improve. My wounds were healing and the infection in my throat wound was clearing up well. The stitches in my face would be able to come out in a few days, but it gave me no joy. I tried to be positive in front of Alice, but it was harder every day. To know that I would never be able to feel a child grow in my belly, that I will never feel the love of carrying my child within the safety and warmth of my body. Tears nightly escaped my eyes as I cried for everything that I had lost and everything that I would never have. I only prayed that my godchild would survive, so that I would have some semblance of love for a child dear to my heart.

**I did warn that some people may find this chapter upsetting, so please don't leave any reviews regarding this. Hope you are enjoying so far.**


	4. Chapter 4

**As ever, I own nothing but plot.**

**Please be aware that as this story goes on, things may get hairy, so stop reading now if you don't want to find out.**

**Big love to sue273 for being my amazing beta, you're the best.**

As the days turned into weeks, my recovery from the attack became better each day. The doctors were in talks about discharging me, although it had to be into the care of someone. It was too risky letting me go home to be alone. There was always the chance of a recurrent infection, or one of the wounds opening.

Alice naturally volunteered herself and Emmett to look after me - just as I suspected. Playing mother hen and she wasn't even half way to giving birth. I protested that there was no way I was letting her look after me while pregnant. She was going to need all the rest that she could get. But there was no swaying her; once Alice got something in her head, she wouldn't let it go.

It was four months after the attack before I was discharged. Although I was apprehensive about leaving the safety and security of the hospital, I was partially glad to be out of there to try to regain some of my independence. It was only as we drove past the alley where I was attacked that the panic really began to set in. The police still had no idea where my attacker was or even the slightest clue as to who he was. I sobbed hysterically in the back of the car. Emmett had to stop driving so Alice could climb into the back and comfort me. I felt pathetic.

Here I was, a grown woman and I was sobbing in the arms of my best friend like a baby. Would there ever be a time when the attack didn't haunt me? Flashes of that god-awful nightmare zipped through my brain as I cried myself dry. I got to the point where my body was wracked with the sobs, but nothing escaped my eyes.

Once Alice and Emmett had me inside, they set about making me something to eat and that I was comfortable. Emmett said that he would drive me over to my apartment in the morning so that we could pick up some of my clothes, or Alice could go and pick me a few things up with him as she had a key of her own.

Emmett showed me to the spare room and made sure that I had everything before I settled down for the night. It was hours before I could close my eyes, but sleep evaded me nonetheless. I knew I wouldn't sleep. I wandered the house, looking for things to keep myself - or more aptly my brain - occupied. The less time I had to think, the easier it was for me to cope being alone. I could not believe that I had been reduced to the scared being I was. I noticed that Alice and Emmett had covered all the mirrors in the house; a feeble, but heartfelt gesture. I knew that they meant well, but sooner or later I was going to have to deal with the way that I looked. The scar on my face had already formed, but the one on my throat was still healing properly.

I found myself a notepad and pen, and scribbled things down about the day. Perhaps there was something in there that I didn't realise was important. The police already had my statement, but maybe there was something I had missed. I'd suffered a massive attack and it was easy to forget things that could come back to a person later on. I began to write a time frame of that day.

**10:00AM**- Alice called to say she had important news and to meet her at Papa Geno's.

**12:30PM**- Met Alice for lunch to discuss her news. PREGNANT! Talk.

**2:00PM**- Left Alice to head home.

**2:15PM**?- Walking down street when hit on the head by unknown person.

**?**PM- Woke up in alley to find tied up and unknown man with me. Had knife and tied my hands up. Kept talking about how was going to make me pay. I should have noticed him. Didn't recognise voice. Knife cut my face. Passed out.

**?**PM- Woke up again. Hands and feet tied up. Bleeding badly. People talking around me. Someone saying ambulance. Tasted blood. Tried to tell was alive. Passed out again.

I looked at my timeframe and knew that there was something I needed to see in this. Something that was really important. For the life of me though, I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Bells?"

"Sorry, Alice, did I wake you?" I murmured.

"No, I couldn't sleep. I saw the light coming from the living room and guessed you couldn't either. What are you doing?" she whispered.

I told her about the timeframe I was doing. Maybe she could help me think what it was that I needed to see in it. She stared at it intently. I could practically see the cogs in her brain turning.

"You need to try and pay more attention to the details first, Bells. That might trigger something else. Like you being tied up, do you remember what that felt like? Was it soft or rough?" she asked.

I thought back to the day and remembered feeling really uncomfortable, the bindings grating against my skin.

"They were rough, like rope maybe, but thin. Possibly something like twine. They were tight, really tight. I couldn't get them to loosen to get free."

"Okay, that's good. Now, do you remember anything specific about the knife? Length?"

"It was kinda like my potato knife, the wide one, but it was all choppy, serrated like a steak knife. But I didn't see the handle, his hands were too big."

"Good, Bella. You just remembered a detail about his hands, too! You're doing really well. What do you remember about his voice when he was talking to you?"

"It was deep, hoarse, but not scratchy. Like he was trying to hide it. But it doesn't make sense if he wanted to kill me. Any details I saw would be meaningless if he thought I was dead."

"But that's the point, Bella, even if you remember the slightest detail, he may not know that you are alive. There may have been some things he hid, but others he didn't," she murmured excitedly.

"Alice! It wasn't so much his voice that bothered me, but what he was saying. That I 'should have taken notice of him'. It's like he thought I'd wronged him somehow. Maybe he's someone I work with, or someone I knew in college. It could be anyone. I just can't think of anyone who would actually want to kill me!" I cried out.

Alice hugged me and stroked my back while I cried all over again. I couldn't see how I was ever going to figure out who did this to me. Already I felt as though my life was over. I even wished that he had killed me.

**Let me know what you think guys and gals ;-)**


	5. Chapter 5

**As ever, I only own my plot... unfortunately.**

**This chapter is for kouga's older woman, for her awesome review, and I hope you're out of the hospital soon :-)**

**Love to my beta, sue273, for putting up with my forgetfulness of previously written things :-S**

**Chapter Five**

For the next few days, Alice and I plundered ourselves into trying to get as much from my memory as possible. I still thought there was something that I was missing and it was really important, but I couldn't remember for the life of me what it was. Whenever I hit a brick wall with my thoughts, I looked for something else to occupy my mind, whether it was trying to tidy up or just making a cup of tea. I couldn't do much because of the pain in my abdomen, but it was getting better. Every day I could do more and more.

I hadn't left the house in the week that I had been there. I was terrified of going out, scared that it would happen to me again, or worse, I found my attacker. I wanted to know who the hell he was and why he had made me suffer in such a way, but unless my memory started to come back there was no way that was ever going to happen. Alice would spend time playing cards with me, or watching some ridiculous TV show, just so that I had some company.

I knew that Emmett must be somewhat tired of having me around all the time, but he never complained. At least not when I was around, but I sensed there was a change in Alice. I couldn't tell if it was because of everything that was going on, the pregnancy taking its toll on her, or if she and Emmett were having troubles. She wouldn't tell me, saying it was nothing and that I had enough to deal with for the time being.

It was while watching one those silly TV shows that an advert appeared and I jumped from the sofa pointing at the tele like a mad woman.

"Alice! Those trainers! The man who attacked me was wearing a pair just like that!" I screamed at her.

Alice looked at me like I had three heads. She waddled off to the bedroom, reappearing a moment or two later, carrying a pair of trainers just like the ones from the advert and passed them to me.

"Are these the ones you mean, Bells? They're Emmett's, but I'm pretty sure they are the ones from the advert. He only got them a few months ago. They're really popular, but very expensive. I was mad with Emmett for about a week after he bought them!" she chuckled.

"Yes, but don't you see, Alice? If they are so expensive then not many people will have them! The police could be able to narrow their searches down to people who only have these!" I jabbered on.

Alice was bouncing up and down nodding at me. She understood where I was coming from. Unless the man who attacked me was from out of town, there couldn't be too many people with these trainers if they were as expensive as the advert said they were. They were nothing but a pair of high top trainers to me, but, well, to others I guess they would appear something more special. I phoned the officer handling my case and mentioned about the trainers to him. He seemed almost as excited as I was. His son had wanted a pair, but when he saw the price he put his foot down, so he knew how much they cost.

Emmett took the time to walk in then to Alice flapping her arms around laughing. I was off the phone by then joining in with her. He looked at us as if we were a pair of lunatics and then looked at the trainers on the couch and paled.

"What the hell, Ali? They cost a bomb and here I find you two playing around with them!" he shouted.

"But Emmett! I had to show them to Bella! She remembered something about the day of the attack. He was wearing a pair of trainers just like them. I showed them to her because I remembered you getting a pair and how much they had cost!" she laughed.

"Oh right. So you've told the cops then?" he asked.

We both nodded and resumed our bouncing around. Emmett was quiet as he put his trainers away. I assumed that he was tired from his day at work and left it at that. That night was the first night that I had been able to sleep more than a couple of hours. It was for only five or six hours, but all the rest I needed to start my day of finding the sod that hurt me. As far as I was concerned, his days were numbered and his time limited before I closed in on who the hell he was.

**So, I hope you're enjoying how the plot doth thicken ;-)**

**Thanks to everyone for your reviews, it's been amazing to see all the support I've received so far :-) until next time my lovelies**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry for the delay on updating, seems I hit a kind of mental block for a while. Here we go!**

**Hugs for my beta, sue273, star, as always.**

**As is the norm, I own nothing except for the plot. **

**Chapter Six**

Weeks passed and the cops' investigation hit a dead end; they were no closer to finding out who attacked me than when I was first found half dead in the alley. Emmett had become withdrawn and quiet. The more pregnant Alice became, the more he fretted around her and resented my presence. It was clear to me that he wanted me to leave and go back to my own home.

So a few days later, I did. I packed up everything that I had at their home and went back to my own empty apartment. I could already feel the panic rising within me, but I quelled it back down and told myself to get a grip. It was time I started acting like a normal human being again.

I was scarred, so what? I was alive and that was all that mattered. I would attempt to return to work the following week. I had hid from the world long enough. I promised myself, however, that I would not stop looking for the bastard who did this to me.

~x~

I walked through the doors to my office building and was already sweating. The people outside had stared at me with horror on their faces. Did they not realise that I could see their reactions? That they hurt worse than any of the wounds that had been inflicted upon me.

I stormed into my office and quickly dashed away the tears that spilt over. I was not going to cry on my first day back at work. I was strong; I would get through all of this and would come out on top and the better person, because, at the end of the day, I was not a victim of rape and attempted murder. I was a goddamn survivor, and no one, not even the gawping idiots outside, were going to take it away from me.

I switched my computer on and set about getting myself a coffee to start my day. I no doubt had a lot of work to be catching up on. I had been off for six months. I thought back to explaining to my boss last week that I wanted to return to work. She seemed to be umming and ahhing a lot, like she didn't want me to return. I still chuckled at her reaction when I told her that unless she was firing me, then I would be back at work on Monday morning.

I headed to the break out area where the kettle urn stood. It was just as I was stirring the sugar into my black coffee that my office neighbour, Jane, waltzed in. She took one look at me and stopped dead. I knew that the scar to my face was still visible, faded, but visible nonetheless. My throat I had covered with a little neck scarf I bought that weekend.

"Hello, Jane. Cat got your tongue?" I asked ruthlessly. I would never have been so bold before.

"Umm... No, I just didn't expect to see you back at work so soon," she mumbled.

"It's been six months Jane, oh, and thank you so much for the get well soon call. I really appreciated it," I muttered.

"Oh, but I didn't call, did I?"

"That's my point, Jane. It's good to know how much everyone cares about my well being. Yes, stare at the scar. Would you like to see my throat as well, so you can run to everyone and gossip about how hideous I look?" I asked mildly.

Jane blushed and stumbled past me to the kettle urn. I rolled my eyes and left the break out area. I laughed to myself at my boldness. I felt like nothing in the world could touch me, until I got back to my computer to see it was lit up with the email icon flashing. I clicked it open and stared in horror at the screen.

**WHY DIDN'T YOU SEE ME? YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN ME. I WOULDN'T HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO YOU IF YOU HAD ONLY SEEN ME**

I swiped at the tears falling from my eyes. Why now? Why, when I was just starting to get things back on track. I took a screen shot of it and sent it to my personal email just in case, then I called the police.

They looked at the screen and said they could take the base unit and see if they could decipher where it had come from, but there was no guarantee. I shook my head and asked him to simply log what had happened and let me get on with my life. I wanted them to see that it was still going on, that maybe they should keep looking. But to them, it was a cold case—a dead end.

My boss stopped later in the day and asked how I was getting on. I had done the reports for last week, even though I hadn't been there. I had caught up and dealt with any of the accounts that had fallen behind, and had just got one of our largest debts settled there and then. I worked for a debt collection agency, it was my job to log all reports on who was paying on time and who was missing payments regularly. On top of all that, I would usually ring some of the clients and explain to them that if they paid some more of the balance off, instead of missing payments, then I could look at a reduced payment plan for them.

I was the manager for the recovery section of the business, it was just a shame that my company wasn't helpful in my physical recovery.

"Yes, Bree, what can I help you with?" I mumbled.

"Bella, how good to see you back in the office. It's been so empty here without you," she gushed.

"Right, Bree, that's why no one, not even you, bothered to call me and see how I was getting on after being attacked," I gushed back.

"Well... we just didn't know what to say to you. We all thought it best to leave you alone and let you return in your own time."

"Oh jeez, how kind. How about, 'Hi Bella, how are you? If there's anything I can do, let me know'. Maybe that would have worked." I looked back at my computer effectively dismissing her.

Yes, I was playing with fire on this one, but a part of me simply didn't care. I logged off at the end of the day, said good-bye to everyone and left. I was not so stuck up that I wouldn't say good-bye to my colleagues and staff.

~x~

I walked through my door to find a note stuck through the letterbox. Thinking it was Alice, I plonked it on the countertop and returned to it once I had changed out of my work clothes.

**I SAW YOU TODAY. BUT YOU STILL DON'T SEE ME, DO YOU? I'LL FIX THAT THIS TIME!**

My hand shook as I dropped it back on the counter and called the police for the second time that day. The routine was getting old, but I wouldn't let it go. They had to see that whoever had done this was delusional, and could attempt it again. Except this time, they could succeed.

~x~

After they left, I felt even more frustrated. All they had to say for it was that anyone could have read about the attack in the papers or on TV and put the note through my letterbox. I laughed in their faces and told them to get out of my house. I would no longer call them if something happened. I would deal with it myself; they were no use to me at all.

I made a mental note to talk to Emmett at work tomorrow as I wanted to see how Alice was doing. I hadn't seen her since I had gone back home. I also wanted to bounce a few ideas off him. Maybe he could help me with the computer message, as he was a bit nerdy like that, so it wouldn't surprise me if he could work out where it had originated. I thought back to where I had been that day and where whoever it was could have seen me. Apart from the corner shop, I had been at work all day.

***hides in corner waiting to be stoned* Ok, so maybe not the chapter you all wanted, but in time, I promise all will become clear.**


	7. Chapter 7

None of the characters are mine, only the plot. No copyright infringement is intended.

Thanks and love as always to me beta, sue273, for her continued support and patience with me.

**Chapter Seven**

Days passed, and the police had nothing. No suspects, no clues, no leads—nothing. I was becoming more and more frustrated with it all. It was like they had given up, like I was no longer important and they had bigger and better cases to deal with. Jacob Black, the officer handling my case, had called to say that there had been no prints on any of the notes or from my computer at work. Even if it had been remotely accessed, there was no way to find out. IT were accessing our computers all the time for updates and scanning for viruses etc. So logs would be useless.

So, once again my case went cold, and I found myself thinking more and more that it was going to have to be down to me. If my would-be killer was ever caught, it would be by my hand, not theirs. That was a thought that depressed me. To serve and protect, is what they say. Yet there I was, serving and protecting myself.

I called Alice and asked her if she could get in contact with her hypnotist friend. I had read somewhere that people who had been severely traumatized by something that had happened to them, had suddenly started remembering facts after seeing a hypnotherapist.

Naturally, she was totally against the idea of messing around with my head, but I changed her mind quickly. If she wouldn't contact him, then I would just find someone else. I was sure that she would rather I went ahead with this with someone who she knew and could trust to do it all properly. Besides, every other avenue had been exhausted; this was the last one I had left.

Garrett agreed to meet with me the following week; he was, of course, booked up until then. He was doing it for nothing—he owed Alice a favour—and she was calling it in for me; something to do with their college days. I was grateful nonetheless.

I hoped that Garrett could help me get to some of the answers that could aid me in finding the son of a bitch who had tried, but failed, to take my life. I decided when my life was up, not some low life scum bag who got off by preying on women. I had to get to the bottom of it all; I couldn't stand the constant feeling of being watched, then turning round to find nothing and no one there. Just the street and myself. It was seriously unnerving.

I didn't feel safe at work anymore; people would stare, point, go quiet as soon as I entered a room. It had reached the point where a note would be left for me every day. Whether it was on my computer, through my letter box or left on my desk. I was never alone.

Alice wanted me to move back in with her, but I knew it was not what Emmett wanted. He wanted Alice to himself, and he deserved her to himself. She was carrying his baby. As much as I loved her, I declined her generous offer.

Time soon passed, and I was ready for my first meeting with Garrett. I was a little apprehensive, but mostly excited. I had never been hypnotized before and a part of me was extremely giddy about it. He had called the night before to tell me that it would be best if he saw me at his house, that way I wouldn't be left with the feeling that whatever I saw or remembered, was left in the house with me. He did say to bring something that was comforting with me, so I'd picked up my favourite horse teddy that Alice had bought me when we were in school. She'd brought it to the hospital for me after I had fallen from a tree and broken my arm.

I knocked at the door of Garrett's house and was greeted by a man I had not envisioned the way he appeared. I'd had this picture of a weird looking guy with a wrap on their head, and beads and bangles hanging from his wrists. Boy, was I wrong! Brown hair adorned his shoulders, kind brown eyes looked back at my own, and he had strong features, chiselled and masculine. I'd forgotten what an attractive man looked like.

"Come in, Isabella. It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Alice has spoken of you a lot," he said softly.

"Please, it's Bella," I replied smiling.

I passed by him into the house and was greeted with warmth and comfort. He had a large house. A high ceiling was the first thing I noticed, and all the walls were painted a warm colour. Garrett led me off toward the back of the house, where I assumed he kept the study or office.

Opening the door, he allowed me to enter first. The room was very inviting; the walls were a soft brown colour—like chocolate. Floral paintings were on a couple of the walls. They were beautiful, with amazing detail. A couch was situated in the centre of the room, with a leather black chair opposite and a small table next to that. This, I assumed, was the office. Somewhere neutral looking with nothing intimidating about it.

"Take the couch or the chair, Bella, whichever would make you more comfortable," said Garrett from behind me.

I chose the couch; I knew I would be more comfortable lying down. I'd also gotten it into my head that the more comfortable I was, the easier the hypnosis would be.

"Being sat as opposed to lying down pays no interference with the hypnosis. You have to want to be hypnotized. You have to want the answers to your questions, Bella," again the voice from behind me.

I drifted to the couch and moved it slightly; I didn't want to have to crane my neck too much to see him. I probably wouldn't need to, but there was something warm about him, it made me want to be able to see him, especially if things got too bad.

I lay down and waited for Garrett to take the chair opposite me; he calmly sat and lifted the cover off some triangular pendulum thingy.

"This is called a metronome, Bella; it will help me with the hypnotism and will give you something to focus your attention on as I speak to you. A lot of clients have found it much more relaxing when they have something that they can focus on," Garrett informed me.

Setting the metronome in motion, I focused my eyes to follow the swinging pendulum. Once I felt I was in rhythm with it, I relaxed a little.

"Right. I will put you to sleep, in a manner of speaking, but you will be able to answer any questions I ask you, and you will answer them truthfully. You will also be able to ask any questions. It will be like being awake, only asleep at the same time. Relax, and follow the sound of my voice. Close your eyes, Bella, listen to the ticking of the metronome. You are a little tired, and feel heavy limbed. You are sat in your favourite chair, are you sat in your favourite chair?"

"Yes," I replied. I did actually feel a little sleepy.

"Good. Now, there is a movie playing in front of you, it's a little of out of focus, but that's okay, it will come into focus soon. I want you to make sure you are wholly relaxed. Nothing can hurt you; you know it's just a movie, one more before you go to bed. Now, pick up the remote and press rewind, until it gets back all the way to the beginning, until you hear the machine click and it's gone silent. "

I watched myself press the rewind button and watched the out of focus characters do their backwards dance until the machine finished. I was ready to play the movie, but had to wait for my body to respond. It felt a little weird, watching my body while I floated about it, but hey, if it worked, who cared?

"It's ready," I said.

"That's good. Now, the movie is ready, it's completely in focus. When you're ready, press the play button and tell me what is happening."

I pressed the play button and watched the movie unfold. It was me. I was sitting in the restaurant with Alice and she was asking me to be godmother again. I'd already figured out that we would have to go back to the attack, I just never thought that we would go somewhere before it.

"It's me and Alice. We are sitting in the restaurant, and she's telling me she's pregnant and that she wants me to be godmother. I'm happy. We're both laughing and crying at the same time," I sighed.

"Good. Now, I would like you to fast forward the movie, just a little, to when you leave the restaurant. When it's there, press play and tell me what's happening," Garrett said softly.

I did as I was told and pressed play once I reached the moment where I left the restaurant. But the movie changed too quickly and I was suddenly in the hospital, at the moment where I first woke up after the attack.

"I can't. The movie just changed and went to where I woke up in the hospital," I said.

"It's okay, Bella. Just rewind the movie back to the point where you leave the restaurant and try again, your mind is trying to block it out, to stop you from having to relive it, but you have to ignore the blocks and push on past them, or we won't get to the truth," Garrett urged me gently.

I rewound the movie to the point Garrett had told me to. I pressed the play button and waited. I left the restaurant and was walking down the road that led to my flat.

"I'm walking down the path that leads me back to my flat. I have to pass an alleyway to get there, but there is rarely ever anyone in there, it's so dark and horrible. But this time there is someone there. I'm being dragged into the alley by someone."

"Hang on, Bella, go back, just a little bit. We need to see how this person manages to drag you into the alley, without you fighting back," Garrett said.

I knew how, but for him, I did as I was asked and rewound the movie once more. I reached the point where I was approaching the alley, as I started to pass by; someone snaked out and hit me over the head with their hands.

"Someone comes out and hits me over the head. They've put their hands together into some kind of club and whacked me. I fell to the ground and then he dragged me in there. I don't think I was unconscious, at least not fully. I could hear myself groaning," I stated matter-of-factly, as if reporting the weather.

I watched as I saw my body being dragged like a piece of meat. I listened as I heard them talking, well, muttering would be a more apt word. Something about noticing them, if I had paid more attention.

"They're dragging my body. Talking about how if I had of noticed them, then I wouldn't have to go through this. They wouldn't feel the need to punish me."

"Okay, Bella. Now, I need you to focus on every little detail you can, tell me anything, even if it seems insignificant. I have a notepad, so I will write everything down for you."

I saw myself nod and I watched intently at the movie playing out before me. They'd tied my hand up, something had been stuck in my mouth to silence me, but my feet were left free. I watched as I feebly tried to kick them out, no doubt groggy from the hit over the head. But they knocked my legs aside as if they were match sticks.

"I tried to kick, but I wasn't strong enough. I think it's a man, from the voice; it's all scratchy, but deep and masculine. It sounds as though he's trying to hide his voice, maybe I know him," I said.

"Okay, well, we can focus on that in a bit. Now, just the smaller details like what he's wearing."

"Well, he has green eyes, I think, and brown or dark blonde hair, he has a hood up, so I couldn't be sure of it. He has a hoodie on, it says something, but it's all creased and folded. Can I pause it to look?" I asked.

"Well, yes, I told you, this is your movie, Bella, you can do as you please. You are in total control," Garrett replied.

I stopped the movie where it was, and got up from the chair I was in to look, or at least, my body did. My eyes were focused on Garrett. He looked completely shocked. Then I looked back at my real body on the couch—it wasn't there. My body had moved, as if it was moving toward the TV. My body just stood there for a few minutes before returning to the couch. I looked back at the movie and my other body was back in its chair also.

"The hoodie says NYFD, New York Fire Department. He's a fire fighter. I'm pressing play now. He's ripping at my skirt and tights, saying what a frigid bitch I am. His hands are rough, calloused, but also strong, very strong. My clothes fall apart as if they are made of tissue paper. I can feel the callouses on his hands as he forces my legs apart. I'm shaking my head from side to side, crying, my eyes are blurred from the tears. I know what's coming next and there is nothing that I can do to stop it."

I force down the lump that has built in my throat. I hear a soft sound and notice that Garrett is clearing his throat also. I feel sorry for him, there's my body telling my rape to him as if it were a story I had written on summer break.

"I try to scream around the gag as he forces his dick into me, but I'm not wet enough and it really hurts. I can feel the skin breaking under the pressure. I pass out from the pain. But he carries on; it doesn't matter if I am awake or asleep. He wants his way irrespective of my conscious state."

"Is that something you are guessing at or do you know it?" Garrett asked.

"I know it, just because I am unconscious doesn't mean that my brain stops registering my surrounding sounds. I can still hear him grunting and thrusting into me. Still banging on about noticing him and paying attention to him. I hear him cry out as he ejaculates into me, but I remain unconscious. I can hear glass being broken, and the sound of scratching around me. There are wet and squelching sounds, some crunching and sucking noises, like when you push and pull a spoon out of ice cream or jelly. Then I hear glass breaking again, but it's further away. I see myself starting to wake up. The man is back in my face, and I can see him a little clearer, but not much, he has sharp and harsh eyes, cold."

"That's good, Bella, I'm writing it all down for you," Garrett's voice was hoarse. I know he is affected by what he is being told.

"He turns away from me for a second. He returns with something; it's shiny, and long. He holds it in front of my face. It's a knife, a long one, and it looks really sharp. He keeps muttering about noticing him, but I don't understand what he means. I try to beg with him, but the gag is in the way. Then he pushes the knife into the skin just above my left eye. I feel the pain as my skin splits beneath the pressure of it. It parts like butter. He eases the knife out a little as he reaches my eye, removes it and forces it back in again just underneath my eye, all the way down to the corner of my lips. Then he stops, I think. I'm not sure, it's all black again so I think I've passed out."

I looked back at Garrett again and he was seriously pale. I prayed that he didn't pass out himself. The last thing I needed was to be stuck in a hypnotic state until he decided to resurface.

"You're doing really well, Bella, just a little further. What happens when you wake again?"

"The movie is still playing. He is still talking. He's pacing, I think. His footsteps get close, and then further away, and then close again. He keeps saying that he didn't want to do it, but that he couldn't risk my knowing who he is. He gets closer once more, then my eyes open, just in time to see a quick flash of the knife blade as he slashes my throat. Hot blood soaks down me as I look towards his retreating feet. The last thing I see is his shoes; they are bright and unusual, expensive looking, like high tops, or some kind of teenager's sneaker."

I stopped talking and waited for my next instruction from Garrett. He was frowning. I assumed he was thinking about something.

"Bella, I want you to rewind back to the squelching and crunching noises. I know you can't hear anything, but I want you to focus on the sounds and then I have some questions for you. Are you back at the sounds again?" he asked.

"Yes, I am pressing play now. I can hear the sound of breaking glass. It's close by, but maybe down slightly, like not as if it were by my side. He curses, and then grunts slightly. The noises have started again, the squelching and crunching. It's disgusting. He carries on talking, softly; I'm straining to hear it."

"This is good, Bella. There is a volume control on the remote, turn it up as far as it will go and try to make out what he is saying. It's important," Garrett urged.

I pressed pause, rewound slightly, and then turned the volume up as high as I could make it go.

"He's saying take that, you little cunt. I guess you were as tight as everyone said you were. Shame I never got a proper sample out of you. Now he's saying fucking take that. I'll show you what a good fucking does to someone."

"Very good, Bella. Now it's time to end the movie, so press stop. I am going to count from ten to one. When I reach one, you will be wide awake, and ready to talk to me. Ten, nine, eight, you are feeling less and less tired, seven, six, five, four. Your eyes are ready to open any second now, three, two, one. Your eyes are open and you can see me and everything else in this room. Are you fully awake?" Garrett queried.

"Yes, I'm awake. That was really weird. I could see me playing the movie, but when I moved properly from the couch, I could see that as well," I said astounded.

"That's called Astral Projection. It's a state of mind beyond hypnotism. I half expected you to really start getting upset when it came to your actual rape, but you remained calm. That may have had something to do with the projection of your mind."

I nodded. It made sense. I was shocked at myself. I had told Garrett things that I had been unable to talk to Alice about, and I had known her all of my life. I'd known Garrett for five minutes, and there I was spilling my guts to him.

"I have some questions, Bella, and I need you to be as honest as you can with me. When you first woke in the hospital, were you aware of what happened?"

"Not at first. After a couple of minutes, I began to remember bits and pieces. They said that there would no doubt be some things that I would blot out. The brain does that to protect itself from serious trauma," I stated exactly what the doctor had said to me.

"That is true. The brain will do anything within its power to protect itself. Now, my next question, did they tell you how you were found?"

"They said that someone had called for an ambulance, but someone who had heard the cries for someone to call, had also called the fire brigade."

"Yes, that's a likely scenario. Now, about the squelching, what exactly did the doctors tell you about the injuries you sustained?"

"Well, the obvious ones being my face and throat," I said this as I removed my scarf and showed him the extent of that scar. "Others were minor lacerations to my arms and legs, but major internal bleeding from some sort of instrument used on me. It had completely shredded my vaginal walls and punctured my cervix; they had to perform a hysterectomy before I bled to death."

"Okay, well, this is what I have managed to make out so far, but it's not pretty and you aren't going to want to hear it. How much do you remember from the hypnotism?"

"Most of it, like his eyes and what he said, and the shoes, of course."

"Right. From the sounds of what he is saying, I would say that I am ninety-nine percent certain that you know or once knew this man. The second thing, and I am pretty much one-hundred percent certain on this one. The instrument used on you was a broken glass bottle. It would explain the smashing sounds along with the extraordinary and extensive damage done to you internally. The third thing and this is a shot in the dark, I think the person who called the fire brigade is the person who attacked you, as you would have bled to death in minutes from the gashes within you and the slash to your throat. They couldn't have gotten far when they heard someone shouting for an ambulance, so, to make sure that he could be in the throng of it all, he made the call and stuck around saying he was the one who called it in. He then becomes his station's hero and also gets to find out how much you remember from the investigation. The brigade would be part of it all as they were at the scene of the crime before the police arrived."

I nodded while Garrett said all this, I tried to take it all in, but I could picture was someone I had known shoving a broken bottle into my most intimate area, taking away all my chances of ever having a family, and then acting a hero. I felt the breakfast I'd had earlier that morning try to make a return visit. Garrett must have seen what was about to happen as he grabbed the bin beside him desk and shoved it under face as he pulled my hair back and out of the way.

He patiently waited until I had finished retching and my stomach was completely empty before moving the bin. I felt weak, drained, and dizzy. I saw the ground rushing to meet my face as I passed out. The last thing I heard was Garrett's surprise yelp.


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry it's taken me so long to get updating again guys, I hit a bit of a road block with this one, but I think that we are back on track with it. **

**Massive hugs to be beta, sue273, for being patient with me on this one.**

**All characters belong to Stephanie Meyer, only the plot is mine, no copyright infringement is intended.**

My head pounded as I try to remember what had happened. I know that I am not at home; everything around me is so unfamiliar that I can tell I am still at Garrett's house. I remembered our session, and all the things that I had come to remember from my attack.

Then I remembered that we had been discussing what all the funny noises were that I kept hearing. We had come to the conclusion that my attacker had decided to use the broken end of a glass bottle on me.

My stomach still churned at the idea of someone wanting to do that to another person. I raised myself into a sitting position and realized that I was still on the couch where we'd had the session. Garrett must have laid me there after I had passed out. Although, not before I'd hit my face on something. I could tell my lip had burst; it felt all swollen and there was definitely an egg growing on my head.

Standing on shaky legs, I went in search of Garrett. He wasn't in the room and I knew that he had been upset by what I had revealed to him while under hypnosis. I had to make sure he was okay; I also selfishly didn't want him to back out of what he had offered me. I had to get to the bottom of it all and I felt like he was the only one who could help me.

Not only that, his presence made me feel safe and right now, safe was just fine with me. I was still a little disconcerted and needed to be around something even a little familiar. Wandering from room to room, I managed to locate Garrett in the kitchen. He was sitting at the table with his hands wrapped around a steaming mug of what my nose decided was coffee.

"Hey, can I have a cup of that?" I asked softly.

"Hi, you're awake. Are you feeling okay now?" Garrett queried.

I nodded that I was okay and smiled gently. I tried to be as reassuring as possible, but it was clear to me that Garrett had been visibly shaken by what he had heard from me. I felt awful that I had dragged someone as kind and warm-hearted as Garrett into my problems. I could literally feel the guilt eating away at my stomach.

"Garrett, I am so sorry that you have been dragged into this. If I had known that anything even close to this would come out, I would not have done it," I sighed.

"Oh, Bella, please. I'm not sorry that you came to me for help. I'm only sorry that some sick fuck has taken pleasure in hurting you in such a sadistic way," Garrett growled.

"I'm afraid that there are some people out there who would willingly do worse to others than was done to me."

Sitting at the table, Garrett handed me a cup of steaming black coffee. Drinking it as it was, I basked in the warmth it spread through me. I hadn't realized how cold I was until I got the hot liquid down my throat.

Pondering over everything that had come to light, a few other pieces of the puzzle began falling into place. I was confident that I knew or had once known the man who attacked me. Why hide his voice? Why wear a jumper with a hood and leave it up? On top of all that, why hide anything if he planned on slashing my throat? Either he didn't plan on killing me in the first place, or he wanted to take precautions in case someone interrupted him or found me before I could bleed to death.

That was exactly what had happened though; someone had found me shortly after he had left the scene. Maybe he even stuck around to play the hero, but more likely to see how much would be found out in the event that I knew exactly who he was.

I wasn't sure what scared me more, the fact that I could possibly know someone who wished me that much harm, or the fact that they had stuck around to relish the damage they had caused. I could see them now, laughing at me, watching me run around trying to fit the pieces together, all the while they held the pieces I required in order to complete the puzzle and see the full picture.

It disheartened me further to find out that someone had felt it necessary to take measures as drastic as that because I had failed to notice them. I thought back through all the men I had been intimate with throughout my adult life.

"Garrett, something is bothering me. When I was talking about what this guy was bantering on about, not noticing him and all that. What else was said?" I asked.

"Well, he did say something while…raping you. He said that everyone was right when they'd said you were… tight," Garrett choked out.

"Hmm… then it's someone I have never been intimate with. So, maybe I never dated them at all. I've racking my brains of any men that I have dated but not been intimate with. There've only been three men I have ever seriously dated, and all three I'd had sex with at some point during our relationship."

"Bella, you do not have to explain your personal life to me. I'm not here to judge you, only to help you," Garrett sighed.

"I know, but saying it aloud for you to hear, you might pick up on something that I've overlooked or missed completely."

Nodding, Garrett refilled our coffee cups as I thought a little more. There was something I was missing, I was sure of it. Maybe another session might unlock it.

"Garrett, is you're offer of more sessions still open? I'm positive there's something I'm missing—something important—and I can't quite put my finger on it," I said.

"Yes, of course. When were you thinking of coming back?"

"Well, I was kind of hoping we could have another crack at it this weekend?"

"Yes, this weekend will be fine. Would you like to try Saturday morning and see how things go, and if we hit any bumps, we have the rest of the day and Sunday as a backup?"

I quickly agreed, finished my coffee and let myself out. I decided to go and visit Alice for a bit. I wanted to talk to her about what we had found out and see if she could shed any more light on it all. And outside viewings could just be the help I needed.

I practically skipped to her apartment building. Buzzing her place, she came over the intercom. I bellowed it was me, and she let me in, not before I heard her giggling though. I smiled; I was pleased she was in a good mood. Emmett had been so serious the past few weeks that I was concerned it might rub off on her. Daft of me though, nothing could get my Ally-Bean down.

I bounced to the door and found it already open; Alice was waiting inside for me. I smiled when I saw her. She was huge and glowing—pregnancy suited her well.

"Hey, Ali, you're looking beautiful," I gushed.

"Hey, Bells, I'm feeling good. Baby is giving my bladder a few rounds. I swear it thinks my bladder is a punching bag, but apart from that, he or she is really well behaved. Come feel, he or she is kicking right now."

Running over, she placed my hand on her belly and I could feel the subtle kicks under the flesh of her tummy. It was wonderful. Such a beautiful thing. Pulling back, I dragged her into a hug, mindful of the bump, and hugged her close. I knew I was lucky to have a friend like Alice; she was amazing.

"I just thought I'd stop by and see how you were, check in on bump and all. I also wanted to tell you about my session with Garrett. It went really well," I smiled.

"We're all good. Em has calmed down some more; especially now I'm closer to my due date. I think he's just scared that something could harm the baby, like getting overly worked up. He really wasn't being nasty to you, Bella."

"I know, Ally-Bean, it's cool. I know he has a lot to consider now, so I understand. Do you want to talk about my session or would you rather wait until bump has made it into the world?" I asked softly, giving her the option to not talk about it.

Waving it off, she urged me to tell her all about it. I toned down a lot of it, and left out the part with the crunching noises. I only told her what was important and wouldn't upset her. Although the broken bottle was included, I didn't tell her what it was used for, but by her paleness, I think she guessed it.

Going back to the shoes, she frowned. She said that she'd not gotten any further with that front. She had even gone so far as to get a list from the police on how many people had bought those shoes since they were brought out up to the date of my attack. Considering they had only been out for about a month, naturally the sales were not high.

Apparently, only five people, including Emmett, had bought those shoes. Three people had been accounted for and had airtight alibis. Emmett, of course, was cleared. The fourth person had not yet been found. Informed by his daughter that he was vacationing with his wife for a week in California, we would have to wait until they got back before anything could be found out about his movements at the time of my attack.

The door went as Alice and I were talking about baby stuff. We turned to see Emmett in the doorway, and he didn't look happy. _Oh, great!_

"What are you doing here, Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Well, I came to see Alice, so we could talk about baby stuff and she could fill me in on all the things going on during her pregnancy," I answered smiling.

"Oh, well, I don't want any nonsense about that attack being said in front of Alice, she's fragile enough."

My nostrils flared at my attack being nonsense, but I let it slide. Alice didn't need the shit it would cause. She apparently, had other ideas about it.

"What the fuck did you just say, Emmett McCarty? Nonsense about Bella's attack? Well, I've got news for you, buddy boy! I wanted Bella to tell me all about her session with Garrett today, but she refused because she was concerned about it upsetting me and then having you six feet up her ass for it!" she screamed.

"Come on, Alice, you know that's not what I meant," Emmett whined.

"I don't give a flying rat's ass what you meant! You said it, and that's the end of it. Bella and I are going out for a bit. I'll see you later on."

"What about tea?"

"I'm pregnant and fucked off! Make it yourself, Emmett! It won't kill you!"

With that, Alice grabbed her coat and mine and slammed the door behind us. I'd seen her get angry, but never like that before. We made it outside the building before Alice stumbled and cried out. Thinking she had fallen I whipped my head around to find her staring at the pavement, looking down, it was painted red. I looked up at Alice as I whipped out my phone to call an ambulance. I had to wedge it between my ear and shoulder as her eyes rolled into the back of her head and she collapsed.

**Ooooh, don't you just love a good cliffy? Has Emmett's anger and frustration finally taken its toll on Alice, and she's losing the baby? Could it be nothing? Or could be far worse than thought? Stick with me guys and we'll find out on the next one.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Massive shout out to Sonja Whitlock for her fantastic idea, which gave me the start needed to get this chapter going. Thanks, doll, you're wonderful ;)**

**Always sending love to my beta, sue273 for her amazing work on this and dealing with my constant errors, even though they are usually the same ones.**

**None of the characters in this story belong to me. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Chapter Eight**

The blare of the ambulance's siren wailed while I continued to watch over my friend as we raced towards the hospital. As Alice had fallen to the ground, I had managed to shove my phone between my shoulder and my ear as I caught her before she hit the ground. I had screamed at the operator to send an ambulance immediately; fear had sliced through my voice like a knife through butter. All I could think about was whether she and the baby would make it, and what could have possibly caused her bleeding to happen so suddenly.

I watched the paramedics as they attached Alice to monitor after monitor and kept asking her the same questions over and over. Had she taken anything? Was she on any medication? Had she used anything herbal that hadn't been prescribed or directed by her doctor? As far as I knew, no was the answer to all the questions, but they needed Alice to become fully lucid before they could get a decent answer out of her.

Her body just lolled about on the trolley in the back of the ambulance. She reminded me of a rag doll—like the one I'd had as a child and carried everywhere with me. Except, this wasn't a rag doll. It was my best friend and mother of my unborn god child. I feared what was happening to her.

I zoned in on one of the paramedics as I realized they were asking me questions. I shook my head to show that I hadn't heard and to repeat themselves.

"Miss, has your friend taken anything, even Paracetamol? We have to know! We can't treat her for anything without knowing what is already in her system; we could harm the baby if we do so!" she shouted at me.

"I'm not sure. I was with her for about two hours before this happened, but I have no idea about before then," I wailed.

"It would have been during the time that you were with her. She would have had a reaction before this."

I went through everything that we had done this afternoon, trying my hardest to remember anything that she might have taken. I remembered them saying about anything herbal and I knew that Alice had been drinking some herbal teas because of her high cholesterol. Emmett had suggested them to her she'd said.

"Wait! Her boyfriend had suggested some herbal tea because she was concerned about her high cholesterol while pregnant; she'd been drinking them for a few weeks now."

"It's possible they could be the cause. Do you have any idea what might be in them?"

"No, but her boyfriend's number is in my phone. I'll call him now and get him to read the packet back to me. But if he hears the sirens then he'll panic and just rush to the hospital!"

She shouted through to her colleague to turn the sirens off but leave the lights flashing. They couldn't waste a moment with Emmett panicking and not giving me the ingredients from the tea. I only hoped that he wouldn't start asking me questions. I hit Emmett's mobile number and waited for him to pick up.

"Emmett? It's Bella. Listen, Alice and I are going to do a bit of shopping. She wanted some more of those herbal teas. Which one is it you normally get her?" I asked lightly.

"Erm… Hang on, I can never remember the name of it, but the packet it really distinctive." I listened to him rustling in the cupboard, "Right, it just says Green Tea. The chemist said that it helped lower cholesterol, and you know how much Alice has been concerned about it."

"Yes, that's great Emmett. We'll go and have a look for some."

I shoved my phone back in my pocket and relayed everything back to the paramedic. What she proceeded to tell me stopped my heart mid beat.

"Green Tea while pregnant has been known to have severe consequences. It can stunt the baby's growth, and although it may lower cholesterol, it's got a lot of caffeine in it, which is harmful to babies."

All I heard was "stunt growth" and "caffeine" and "harmful". I really began to panic for Alice; it would devastate her if she lost this baby. She'd had her heart set on it from the moment she had told me that she was pregnant.

"Now we know what exactly is in her system, we can look to treat her. We'll flush her body with saline, try and rid her body of the tea. We can't do anything more than that at the moment, at least not until we reach the hospital," the paramedic said to me.

~X~

It wasn't long before we reached the hospital. I kept out of the way as they unloaded Alice on the trolley from the ambulance and swept her into A&E. I was told that I wouldn't be able to follow them and would have to wait in the family waiting room until someone came for me.

Left alone and frustrated, I went in search of this waiting room, hoping against hope that someone would be along shortly to tell me that Alice was on a ward waiting for me. It was a large hope, but one I clung to nonetheless.

I paced up and down the room constantly for what felt like an eternity, but was probably more like a couple of hours. Eventually, a nurse came and found me.

"Excuse me, miss. Are you Bella? The lady who came with Alice Brandon?" she asked.

"Yes, that's me. How is she?" I begged her to tell me.

"My name's Bree. Alice's doctor has asked me to see you as she isn't making any kind of recovery like we had hoped. Alice is far past the risk period of her pregnancy that if a Caesarean Section was performed, her baby would have an extremely high chance of surviving…"

"Whoa! Stop a moment! What do you mean a C-Section?" I screeched.

"Bella, Alice is losing too much blood, we can't control it, and the baby is at risk, as is Alice. With a C-Section, we would have a much stronger chance of them both making it through this. Otherwise, we will lose one, the other or quite possibly both of them. Alice has you listed as her next of kin, and as she isn't conscious to make the decision, I have been asked to come here and get your permission," Bree sighed.

My mind reeled with the possibilities of losing both my best friend—practically my sister—and my unborn god child. I gave them permission to perform the C-Section. I had to give both of them a fighting chance to make it through. I knew Alice would make the same decision for me.

Bree nodded and ran out of the waiting room. I sagged into the nearest chair and cried. I had no idea if either one of them was going to make it through this, or at all because of that stupid tea Emmett had suggested Alice try. It may have been a total bitch of me, but I decided not to tell Emmett yet. Not only would he be pissed that he wasn't listed as next of kin, he'd be even more pissed at the fact that I hadn't bothered to consult him.

In my own defence, I had known Alice all my life. He had only known her a few short years, and in my eyes, my decision far outrode his.

Alice had been in surgery for hours before Bree came to find me again. She told me the baby had been delivered and it was a girl. Alice was still in there as she had lost so much blood and they needed to get some more blood into her before she lost more from the Caesarean. I nodded and understood that they knew what they were doing, but I still felt helpless. I couldn't even go to see my goddaughter. As she was premature, even though only by four weeks, her lungs still needed time to develop and the doctors had to help her regulate her temperature with an incubator.

Not only that, but even though I was desperate to see her, Alice should have been the first person to lay eyes on her, not me. She was her mother and was in surgery fighting for her life. I was being insensitive and I knew it. I thanked Bree for keeping me updated and asked that if she wasn't busy with other patients, if she could come and get me once Alice was out of surgery and on a main ward so I would be able to sit with her. She advised that she would be in ICU for some time, but that I would be able to be in the room with her and the little one.

It was some time later, but finally Bree came to get me to say that Alice was in ICU and I was able to be with her. I have never felt such relief like it as to hear my best friend was alive and okay. That was until I walked into the room and saw her surrounded by machines and wires. She looked so small in the huge bed, so pale and lifeless. I prayed that she would be awake soon. The little one needed a name and I didn't think that Alice would thank me if I took that upon myself.

I was exhausted from all the commotion. I drifted off to sleep listening to the sound of my goddaughter's gurgling.

**As I said, hug shout to Sonja Whitlock, your review gave me some major ideas and I want to thank you for it, so this chapter is for you ;) Thanks again darlin'**

**So what's going to happen next? Could the tea have been all that was affecting Alice, or is there something deeper than that? Who knows, or am I just pullin' your leg? ;) wait and see….**


	10. Chapter 10

**As before, and again, thank you Sonja Whitlock for your help, your comment about the Pennyroyal Tea got me thinking about some other leaves I know of!**

**Always a shout out to my beta, sue273, for the work she has put in on helping me with this.**

**I own nothing except for the plot.**

**Chapter Ten**

I woke instantly to the sound of screaming and alarms going off. I jumped out of my seat to find doctors and nurses rushing to Alice's bed. I had no idea what was wrong. All they did was usher me out of the room with, "We're doing the best we can". Their best? Best for what? Why were the machines around her bleeping suddenly?

I paced outside her room until someone emerged and told me that there was something else in Alice's system that was causing her body to shut down. If they didn't find out what it was, her organs would fail and life support would have to do what they should be doing. If it was left too long, it could cause severe brain damage or worse, leave her brain dead. Not only was I upset by that point, I was madder than a bull being taunted with a red cape—I was pissed.

I turned on my heel, railroaded out of the hospital, grabbed a cab and went straight back to Alice's place. I found it empty, which was brilliant. I would possibly have just enough time to do some digging. There was something Emmett wasn't telling me and I could feel it. I knew it had something to do with the tea; I just couldn't work out what.

I began with the cupboards, looking for tea leaf boxes, anything that would start me off somewhere. I found a box of green tea, a box of camomile tea and a small chain with a ball at the end which I assumed you could put tea leaves into. Except there were no leaves anywhere. _Why would they have a tea ball, and no leaves to put in it?_ I thought.

I moved on to the other cupboards hoping to find something there, but nothing. As I went from cupboard to cupboard, room to room—nothing. Stopping, I sighed. I was looking for the obvious and I knew it. It was time I admitted to myself that there was something being hidden from me, so I would have to think outside the box, and put my Sherlock Holmes hat on. Nothing in the situation was normal, so I had to start thinking about the abnormal. What was it Holmes had said: Eliminate all other factors, and the one that remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

Going back to where I had found the boxes of tea, I removed a tea bag from each of them, and stuffed them in my pocket. I had earlier bypassed a small tin I assumed held mints or biscuits. Opening it up, I found loose leaves, and most likely tea leaves. Bingo! I softly sniffed the tin. It was acrid, bitter almost—it didn't smell like anything I knew. I grabbed a small sandwich bag from a drawer I had rifled through earlier, and stuffed some of the leaves into it. I would go to a herbalist and see if they could tell me anything.

I packed everything into my pockets and was about to leave when I heard a voice at the door. Listening, I caught sound of Emmett's voice, but no one else. I figured he was on the phone to someone. _Shit!_ If Emmett saw me in here, and Alice nowhere, he would start to ask questions. I raced through to the bedroom and hid in Alice's walk in closet. Emmett rarely went in it, she had told me once. He was always complaining that it was like Narnia—it never ended—and he swore that if he went in deep enough, he would never find his way back out.

I earwigged on Emmett's call. It seemed he was trying to find out where Alice and I had gone after she had stormed out with me in tow. Apparently, there had been some kick off about the blood that was outside the apartment building. I was surprised that no one had approached us when I had stopped her fall and rang for an ambulance. Surely someone had seen that. Then again, a lot of people suddenly went blind when there was something going on that they didn't want to see. I had to stop myself from running out of the closet to tell Emmett where she was before I heard what came next.

"Just find Alice and Bella will you? I have Alice on certain medications and if she skips them, it could ruin everything, got it?" he snarled.

With that, he stormed back out of the apartment and slammed the door behind him. I waited a minute or two before sneaking out of my hiding place. I was scared about the medication Emmett was talking about. Surely he hadn't been poisoning Alice. I mean, he loved her, right? I couldn't imagine him doing anything to purposely harm her, but then again, he had been acting really weird. There was always the baby to think about, and it seemed to me and everyone else who knew them, that he was stressing Alice out more than he was calming her. We all had to deal with the fears of a first child, but jeez, he was taking it a little too far.

I skipped going to a herbalist and when straight back to the hospital. I was confident they would be able to test everything I had with me and see if there was anything in there that could be causing so much harm to Alice's body.

I handed everything over to Bree the second I found her. I told her what I smelt when I opened the tin. Although she said nothing, I caught the glint of fear in her eyes. I knew what I had found was neither good nor harmless. I didn't press her. I was more concerned about getting the tests run so that they could start saving my best friend.

While Bree took off with my findings, I made the call to Emmett, injecting as much optimism as I could into my voice I spoke when he picked up. "Emmett, it's Bella. You need to come to the hospital. Alice is sick. I'm on ICU, in the family waiting room. You'll find me there."

With that, I ended the call and put my phone on silent. If he was smart, he would just hurry here, except he wasn't, and he kept ringing and ringing my mobile. I wasn't going to answer. He would have questions and, right now, I had more important questions, like what the fuck was he doing giving Alice leaves without any instructions? If she had found them and mistaken them for normal tea leave, I dreaded to think what they really were and the kind of damage they might do in high dosages. I cried as I waited for Emmett to arrive. One thing was for sure, he had a fucking lot of explaining to do.

**Oooh, so, looks like Emmett is in the dog house, but does he actually know what he's done? He really could have given the leaves to Alice thinking they would help her. Who knows? I guess we'll find out next time ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**So, has Emmett been purposely hurting Alice, or is he innocent of what Bella thinks he has done? Let's find out, shall we?**

**As ever, nothing is owned by me except for the plot.**

**Thanks as always to my beta, sue273, for her work on this.**

**Chapter Eleven**

I looked up as the door to the family room opened and Emmett walked in. I calmly got up from my seat, walked over to him… and slapped him as hard as I could. I half expected him to start shouting at me, but he just stood there looking at me.

"If Alley-Bean dies because of what you have done to her, I will make it my personal mission to kill you myself!" I hissed.

"What do you mean _because of what you have done?_ I haven't done anything to her," he mewled.

"You fucking liar! Green tea, huh? You sure that's all you've been giving her? Because whatever shit you have been putting in her system is shutting down her organs. The doctors have no idea what it is and they don't know if any of it has passed to the baby. Oh, by the way, you have a daughter," I sneered.

"You mean she's here? Now? Where is she?" he demanded.

"Until I know why my Alice is sick, you aren't allowed anywhere near her or the baby. I'm next of kin, so I've warned the nurses and doctors and they have agreed with me."

Emmett started to argue and realized quickly that I wasn't joking. Alice was in serious danger of dying, but he seemed more concerned about the little one, which worried me. I'd read of people who used women to get a child and then left the mother as if she was nothing. I tried not to think of Emmett as that kind of person, but his behavior was really unusual.

"Sit down. Bree said she'd come and find me once she knew something," I sighed.

"Who's Bree?"

"The nurse who's helping to look after Alice. Once they have some results on the tests, she said she would come with some answers."

"What… what kind of tests?" stuttered Emmett.

I looked over at him. He had suddenly gone very pale and began sweating, which made me think he was definitely hiding something. Why would he be concerned over some tests if he hadn't been giving her anything? Then I remembered the tea leaves I had found. Deciding to subtly enter it into the conversation, I hoped he would say something about them. "Alice told me you've been giving her Green Tea. Why Green Tea and not something else?" I asked.

"Well, the doctors said that Green Tea could help with some of the problems she's been having, like going to the toilet and her cholesterol has been really high lately."

"Right, and was Alice with you when you consulted a doctor over the Green Tea?" I asked.

"Um… well, no. I didn't want her to worry over it, so I left out who the tea was for and spoke to them as if I was asking on behalf of a friend," he stammered.

"Oh, so you never once thought to check the side effects and possible damages that can be done to a pregnant woman, then," I chuckled coldly.

"Well, no, I mean, I just assumed it was a herbal tea."

"Well, if you had bothered to do your research you would have known that Green Tea contains caffeine, which is harmful to babies in the womb. That's why all mothers are told to avoid large doses of coffee, tea, green tea and any other products high in caffeine and why women are told to avoid Pennyroyal tea when pregnant, because if has abortive ingredients in it. Women in poorer parts of the world were known to use it has a homemade abortion method…"

I trailed off as something came to my mind—because of Pennyroyal tea causing severe uterine contractions, expectant mothers were told to avoid it at all costs. Some women had used it when their pregnancies were overdue, but because the contractions were so severe, the babies often died in the womb. So, some women chose to use Blue Cohosh, which has been known to kick start labor, especially when given in a couple of small doses in tea.

I looked at Emmett in horror. He couldn't wait another four weeks for the baby to be born, so he thought he'd speed the process along and induce labor early! I felt like I was going to be sick. He had used Alice as a baby machine and planned on doing God knows what once Alice recovered.

"You bastard! You wanted her to have the baby early! That's why you weren't in a panic when she stormed off, and why you never bothered to ring me to see where we were, because you knew before long I would call! Motherfucker! You're a fucking dead man, Cullen!" I screamed.

Running from the family room, I tore toward Alice's room in ICU and was grateful when I found a doctor and Bree in there.

"Bree! I know what it is! It's Blue Cohosh! It was used years ago to kick start labor for women who were overdue! But if given in high doses, it can cause damage to organs. Her dosage wasn't watched, so she was taking in too much!"

I was rambling I knew it, but they needed to see what I meant. Emmett had been giving her the tea to start early labor so Alice would have the baby. I wasn't sure if Alice was meant to survive it, but I knew one thing was for sure, if she didn't, Emmett would never get his hands on the little one.

Bree nodded somberly, but didn't rush off to find anyone. I frowned. She should be running for a doctor to tell them what was in her system. Then the sounds within the room hit me. There was a long and constant beep. Alice's heart monitor was flat lining!

"Do something! Save her! Please! You… You're letting her die!" I screeched.

Bree held me back as I screeched that they were killing her. They were all murderers! Little one would have no mother, no one to take care of her. She was so tiny and all alone. Alice never even got the chance to see her, or hold her. Never got to see the beautiful angel that she had carried in her for so long. I sobbed as my best friend's life ebbed from her, as they finally turned all the machines off and left Bree and I alone.

Leading me to a chair, Bree knelt in front of my, trying to grab my attention. I saw her lips moving, but no sound reached my ears. All I could hear was the monitor singing its final beep as it counted my friend's last beats.

"Bella, listen to me. Alice changed her forms shortly before she was brought into hospital. She changed it to DNR. Do you know what that means? She changed it to a Do Not Resuscitate, which means that if she died within the hospital, no one was to try and save her life, she was to be left to go. She didn't want to be revived," Bree explained.

I could hear what she was saying, and I understood what it all meant, but she must have meant someone else. My Alice would never leave her baby without a mother. She was so excited about it, so pleased to be having Little One. Then I wondered, did she know what was going on and prepare for the possibility that her body might not be able to heal itself anyway? Unsure of exactly what was wrong, had she taken action so that no one could reduce her to a vegetative state?

"We tested the leaves, they were Blue Cohosh, you were right. I think Alice knew that something was wrong, had no idea what and couldn't prove it, so she started changing things. She mentioned a lot of things to me when she was in and out of the hospital sorting her forms out. I was the one who helped her with them. I should imagine that you will be contacted by the company she drew up her will with. She also sought legal help over who would take care of Little One if anything should happen to her. Alice planned everything out so that she was able to provide a comfortable and happy life for Little One," Bree said softly.

I was confused. It would have taken Alice some time to sort all this out. Had I really been that neglectful as a friend in trying to find my attacker that I failed to notice something was wrong, and Alice felt that she would have to take matters into her own hands?

"Emmett, he's here!" I cried.

"Ssshhh, Emmett is allowed nowhere near Little One until her custody has been sorted out. You are Alice's next of kin, so naturally you are allowed to stay here with her. Emmett will be given no access and asked to leave the premises. We will of course have to tell him that Alice has died, and that the baby is alive, but were are obliged to give him no details beyond that. We will keep her safe here, Bella, I promise."

With that, Bree rose and left me with Alice. I knew she was gone, but maybe she could still hear what I had to say.

"Alley-Bean, I know you can hear me. I know you're not gone just yet. I can feel you still here. I swear I will not let Emmett harm Little One, but why didn't you tell me your fears? You know I would have dropped everything to come help you. You were the most important person in my life, more so than myself, and I would have done anything I could to have helped you. Instead, you chose people who didn't know you, and secured a life for Little One because you truly thought you weren't going to make it. Why did you think that Alley-Bean? Did you know Emmett was up to something, or was there something else? Why did you have to go and leave me, Alice? You were everything to me. My world. My Sissy," I sobbed.

At Sissy, I felt something near me, something warm, yet I saw nothing. The curtains in the room twitched then nothing. I knew Alice had waited long enough to say goodbye to me. I knew that she heard my vow of taking care of Little One. I would not let her down. Despite all her fears, Alice had left me the greatest gift she could ever give, a child to love and cherish. I had a long way to go before I found out all my own problems, but for this moment in time, I could content myself with listening to her gurgle away in her sleep. Tomorrow, I would begin finding out what Alice had planned for her.

**Okay, so maybe not the end of a chapter you were hoping for. I hope some more of your questions have been answered. Although it's still unknown if Emmett was intentionally hurting or oblivious to it all, at least we know there is some glimmer of hope after losing her friend. Bella may just have a shot at happiness.**


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